A mini guide for backdoor basics
KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH
Just like any other sexual activity, anal play improves overall libido, enhances mood, and improves sleep quality. Given the anatomy of our butt hole, it also has the potential to induce intense (and multiple) orgasms.
The reason why this sensation is distinct than the other genitals is because of the interplay of two anal sphincter muscles which help in creating a feeling of tightness, suction and/or fullness upon penetration. Since all the other structures such as the vagina, clitoral bulbs, and the penis anatomically lie in closer proximity to the anus, they aid in heightening the stimulation upon penetration. Additionally, the pudendal nerve that supplies to the external anal sphincter also supplies to clitoris and the penis indirectly creating a dual stimulation for people when the anus is stimulated externally (rimming or fingering).
BE DEVOTED AND GO SLOW
Anus isn’t easy to please so you need to put some patience and devotion to acquire this skill. You cannot directly go poking things in it and expect to have an instant intense orgasm. NOPE.
Start small and go slow. Take deep breaths (if you are the receiver) and start slow by stimulating and/or massaging the anus externally using toys, fingers, tongue, lips, breathwork, etc. and move your way up. It is essential to allow relaxation of both sphincter muscles to prepare the butt for any kind of penetration. To make this experience seem less overwhelming, you can go solo using a toy or fingers and then introduce this in your partnered adventures to have a better understanding of what you like and don’t like.
THINK ABOUT LUBE AND TOYS
Invest in a good lubricant (preferably water or silicone based) that is compatible with your toy material and chosen barrier method. Unlike the vagina and the penis, anus is not self-lubricating which is why it is important to protect the anus from friction tears and pain. If you are one of those who think spit is a good option, it is not. Spit is the worst lubricant and remember, you will eventually run out of it.
When using toys for anal play. remember to chose one that has a flared base, angulation or an end that you can hold when you insert them. Anus does not have an end, unlike the vagina, and if you choose a toy that doesn't have a base it is quite likely that it will get lost up and move up into the rectum landing you an emergency trip to the hospital.
CHANGE THEM POSITIONS
Positions bring a significant change and spice to any kind of sexual play. First off, let me burst this bubble that doggy position is the only position to explore the backdoors. Absolutely not!
While doggy position provides a great angle and access for backdoor stimulation, there are others which have more to offer if you are ready to invest some time in play. Missionary, standing or lying doggy, reverse cowgirl, snake, sideway spoon, etc. are some other positions that offer access to the backdoor at various angles that can help intensify the sensations and intimacy you are looking for.
Make sure you keep pillows and towels accessible and choose a position that is comfortable for both you and your partners because nobody likes to cramp up in between a play session.
SAFETY FIRST
Anal play has the highest risk of transmitting or contracting HIV compared with other sex acts, especially for the receptive partner. Hence, regular testing and hygiene play an important role in making it a safer act. To prevent bacterial transmission, wash anything that makes contact with the anus when you’re done or before moving on to another activity. This includes your hands, genitals, and sex toys. If you are using condoms or dental dams, roll on a new one before switching to vaginal sex or oral. This also applies for a penis, fingers, or sex toys.
Speaking of toys, wash your toys well with an anti-bacterial soap and lukewarm water, dry it thoroughly before and store it properly. Make sure to give it a quick rinse before you use it the next time and use a condom over the toy.
POOP MYTHS
The horrors of pooping during sex still continue to haunt many people. You might feel like you need to poop when you’re first penetrated or shortly after you finish, but it’s highly unlikely that you’ll have an accident. However, adopting excessive douching routines to make the anus look spat clean does no good to anyone. Poop well before and/or after you engage in anal play and clean the area well. Get into anal play slowly and gradually, allowing both the sphincters to relax. You could also put a dark towel or sheet down to keep any mess discreet and off your sheets. Additionally, maintaining a good diet and cleaning the anus with water before you get in action should help keep the poop at bay.
Anal play is great, but remember this organ isn’t solely designed with a singular purpose of pleasure.
Forceful penetration or opening of the anus can cause tissue tears, painful penetration and rarely a loss in its elasticity leading to continence concerns or tissue damage. So, be careful of whatever you do pleasuring the anus and pay close attention to what your body allows you to do.